GET Help: Talking About Disabilities
In the past, discussing disabilities with children was oddly taboo. Because of this, we often feel as if we’re walking on eggshells when trying to teach kids about such an “adult” topic. Our hope is that this blog provides you with the resources you need to confidently have a conversation with your child about other people’s disabilities, as well as their own.
“On the Lamb” by Bridgette Fowler
The video poem above is called “On the Lamb,” which features a 25-year-old girl riding on her mobility scooter.
That girl was me! The poet is my mother, Bridgette Fowler. What’s unique about Bridgette’s vlog is that with each poem, she includes a video to go along with it, as well as activities that can be used by parents with their children or teachers with their students. You can view the full vlog here: A Peek into Poetry.
Both my mother and I have a disability called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). EDS is a connective tissue disorder in which connective tissue is “too stretchy.” This means we lack the structural support to hold our bones together and consequently have the propensity to partially or fully dislocate almost any bone in our body.
When I was a child, I was able-bodied (fit, strong, and healthy; not physically disabled). I was a dancer for 12 years and, for the most part, I was extremely healthy and very mobile. During my last year of high school, I began showing symptoms of EDS (e.g., dislocations, subluxations, fatigue, joint pain, easily injured, etc.) At the time, EDS was considered extremely rare and was unknown by most physicians, so without a sound reason, I was told to quit dancing and begin carrying a rolling backpack. I still remember being bullied about my backpack from little things like my teacher announcing my arrival to class each day with, “Flight 405 now boarding,” to the constant joking about my rolling backpack by my “friends,” to having classmates kick my backpack while walking in the hall, laughing at me with her friends. Such a small change, with such a huge price. I felt unequipped to handle this because, at the time, I didn’t even know I had a disability. I felt insecure and constantly compared myself to my peers and to my past self. Talk about major FOMO! I often wonder how things would’ve been different had I known about my disability early on. I truly believe I would have felt more empowered, more self-compassion, and better able to stand up to bullies.
Seven years later and I’m primarily using a mobility scooter after losing the ability to walk and stand for extended periods of time. However, aside from my scooter and braces, I look able-bodied. This is an important reminder that not all disabilities are visible.
Talking to Children About Disabilities
My mother and I thought of the idea behind the poem above in response to several interactions with families who would pull their children aside and shush them as I rode by. We’ve seen so many missed learning opportunities for children and wanted to provide a resource to help you do so.
When children see someone with a visible disability, they immediately look to their parents for an explanation. Below are some tips for teaching your child about people with disabilities:
Have a conversation with your children early. It is never too early to have these conversations.
Unsure how? Check out these 6 tips to talk about disabilities with your children.
On the Lam. Use the vlog mentioned above and accompanying activities to begin the discussion about those with physical disabilities. There are also many books, tv shows, youtube videos, etc that teach children about what it means to be disabled.
Real-life examples are so important. Children learn by watching adult behaviors. Imagine this situation. You are on a walk with your two children. You see a person using a mobility aid such as a wheelchair or mobility scooter coming towards you. What would you do? Some may quickly grab their kids and pull them aside to allow the individual to pass. As they pass by, some may look down and avoid eye contact. Others may stare them directly in the eyes with a confused look. Some may hush their children but others might encourage them to smile and wave. Some may whisper hastily “Don’t stare!” I don’t speak for all individuals with disabilities, but, personally, I appreciate a smile and wave or nod. By choosing this response, you open up an incredible teaching moment.
Okay, so you modeled a smile and wave, what next?
Talk about it! Ask your child if they have ever seen a scooter or wheelchair. Talk about why certain people have to use them and stress that they are just like everyone else with a different way to move around. It is also important to mention not everyone who uses a wheelchair or mobility scooter has to use it 24/7. A lot of individuals, such as myself, use them for longer distances but are still able to move around the house.
Unsure of PC terminology? Err on the side of caution and use “person-first” language. This means instead of labeling someone as “disabled,” you’d say, “a person with a disability.” I personally don’t mind being labeled “disabled,” because I feel like my disability and I are not separate. However, the idea behind person-first language is not to define someone by their disability. If you are wondering which term to use with someone you know, ask! Differences in opinion regarding person-first language exist within our community.
Encourage Questions: Curiosity is natural. Encourage your child to ask questions. If you don’t know an answer, be honest, do some research, and get back to them. In addition, I don’t speak for all individuals, but if a child had a question about my scooter, I would happily answer.
Teach your child that not all disabilities are visible: Often times children equate being disabled with being in a wheelchair. It’s important to remind the future generation that often times disabilities are invisible. For example, specific language impairments, intellectual disabilities, learning disabilities such as dyslexia, or physical disabilities/medical conditions such as lupus, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and conditions like EDS.
Open the conversation to talk to your child about their own disabilities
Now that you have taught your child about the meaning of disability, it’s time to discuss their own disability. Wondering how to start this conversation? Check out GET’s newest FREE ONLINE PRE-RECORDED WEBINAR about Differences and Disability. In this webinar, members from Global Education Therapy’s team, Christine Law and Sarah Fowler discuss how and why to talk to your child about their disabilities as well as answer FAQs we’ve received from parents.
Want to see more of our FREE pre-recorded WEBINARS? Click HERE
Additional resources
This webpage outlines 25 Disability Awareness Activities for Kids of all Ages. This includes disability awareness packets, lesson plans, disability awareness tips from Huffington Post, videos, and activities for the family.
This article, How to Talk to Your Nondisabled Kids About Disability, has great suggestions for the type of language to use and I particularly like the quote below. It includes links for more information regarding different types of invisible disabilities.
Wheelchair Person Symbol in Shape of Heart, “Not all Disabilities are Visible”
”Don’t assume who is or isn’t disabled. Though the most widely recognized symbol of disability is the wheelchair icon, disability comes in many forms. Neuroatypicality, cognitive disabilities, mental illnesses, chronic pain and many other disabilities are not readily visibly apparent.”
Final thoughts…
Achieving equality for those with disabilities is a long road ahead of us, but the more informed our children are, the better chance we have at raising an open-minded, empathetic, compassionate, and inclusive generation who will continue the fight for equity.
